Friday, March 13, 2009

Evil Jello Shooters

Pure Evil

While it's not my usual habit to drink or drink and shoot, there is the odd occasion that I might give in and indulge. In this case it was a fund raiser for the HCRG and Jello shooters were being sold around the venue at $2 a cup.

While, yes, I'm that nice photographer that takes photos of the teams at games, practises and other social events, I'm also a proud card toting team member of sorts (okay I don't have a card) that is recognized by the HCRG (yes I can say I'm recognized without double thinking that) who wants the team and league to do well as well as have fun. Of course I'm going to support them by purchasing some jello shooters and spiked gummi worms (gummi worms that were soaking in vodka). It all sounded great at the time.

Perky skates the HCRG fund raiser

A few hours later, some worms and many jello shooters later (like maybe ten) I became a bit intoxicated. Not in the barfing into the porcelain toilet or sink kind of way (I did get those photos surprisingly) but more of the hit on a bunch of roller girls and fall asleep on the couch kind of way.

I know this because I was taking photos, apparently on automatic, recording the night events. Then at some point during the evening/morning someone picked up my camera to continue to take photos after and during my passing out. It's all a blur with three distinct memories sandwiched inbetween. Kissing a roller girl*, kissing another roller girl*, and spanking a third roller girl* to prove some kind of point to some other weak handed people that were trying to get some spanking in.

The spankee in question was telling one of the weak handed spankers (W.H.S.) "Is that all you've got? I barely felt that.". The W.H.S. motioned for me to try something and so I did. I remember the blood flowing out of my hand I hit so hard and yes she felt that one. After that I lost consciousness.

The next day I woke up hours after the sun had popped up and took the bus home. After sleeping all day sunday came around and I started going through the photos. It was an amazing discovery of a timeline I didn't know existed. While scanning the photos I thought "When did that happen?", "I kind of remember that", "Wow, I got away with that?" (and shortly there after the question "Am I going to pay for that on my next trip to Hamilton?").

Either way you've got to love the Hammer City Roller Girls.

* Photos of the roller girls in question have been withheld to protect their idenity and more importantly protect me. There's a small possiblity they don't remember that evening/morning as well.

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