Thursday, July 14, 2005
Due dates are there for a reason!
A "found" loaf of bread teaming with some sort of copper colored bacteria.
"Oh! That's where that is!". How many times have I said that line while the sounds of a bugle playing the death march sounded in my brain? Plenty unfortunately. Yet another victim of refrigerator neglect. Shoved into the far reaches, in this case, the back of the fridge to be forgotten and left for dead. Later, perhaps months later, to be pulled out in a half mutated form.
This time was better. This time the victim could be identified. Not like the last one. The black ooze on the bottom of the lettuce crisper wrapped in a plastic bag. Lettuce? Banana? Onion? It was some kind of organic vegetable mutated into liquid form. Meat would stink more. Cheese would be more white maybe green.
Yes this is the exciting life of Derek Lang, fridge forensics officer! In a world where no egg is too smelly, meatball too green or yogurt too tasty, the victims are put into ziplock body bags where they won't stink up the apartment and can mix with the other garbage until the next trash pick up.