Wednesday, February 15, 2006

A bird dropped it's load on me today

Possible poop generator, this is what the culprit may have looked like.

"Do you feel lucky? Well do ya... punk?" as the bird targets you from the heavens above to leave a mass of yuckiness all over you...

Why is it that when a bird poops on you it's considered good luck? At least that's what the urban legend around these parts would like you to believe. Personally I think that idea just came from the guy that got pooped on to make himself (or herself) feel better. Afterall, who in their right mind would laugh at someone with good luck? Someone getting pooped on? Laughs all around.

At some point today, around noon or so, I noticed some goop on my index finger that looked a lot like bird doodie. Not a large amount, like a blob oozing off my finger tip, just a small white dab of what could have been mistaken for some wet white paint. In fact that's what I thought it was.

For those that don't know because they've never had the pleasure of being pooped on by a bird or have never looked into a bird cage at the zoo/in a pet store, or had to take care of a bird as an owner, or looked carefully at most statues located in parks, bird droppings consist usually of a green to black-ish blob of gunk surrounded by a wet white substance. Sort of like an egg yoke surrounded by egg white where the egg white seems to take up a larger surface area than the yoke.

It wasn't until later on in the evening that I was going into my camera bag that I noticed the bird dropping that looked like it came from a bird that ate smaller birds. So okay, technically it didn't poop on me, my body or head, but it took a massive dump on my bag. The item in question took over the surface area that would span the size of the palm of my hand. Mostly white stuff with a big honking smeared greenish blob of mass in the middle. It landed right where the zipper for my bus token compartment was. As I usually don't look at the bag when I'm grabbing stuff out of it, this would explain the "white paint" on my finger tip earlier on in the day.

I was with Dave, my cousin, at the time. He pointed out that it was lucky to be pooped on and told me I should buy a lottery ticket. So we did. We managed to find a variety store and bought one ticket each. In the end he got one number, which doesn't get you squat and on my ticket I got nothing. So much for the being lucky.

I suppose I could use my small shoe theory with the falling piece of turd. As stated in some earlier blog entry. Putting on small shoes that are uncomfortable makes you realize how great things are when you take them off. Your feet feel great after being in such a cramped confined space. Much like getting pooped on it makes you appreciate the "normal" days where nothing happens. At least you're not getting pooped on.

In the grand scheme of things a lot of bad things could happen to a person over the course of the day. Dying by choking on a pork chop, getting stabbed in the head, poking your eye out with a spoon, drowning while doing your laundry, stubbing your toe (breaking the toe nail in half), burning the roof of your mouth on a freaking white hot bagel, you get the idea. Bad Things. If getting pooped on is the worst thing that's happened to you in that 24 hour span of space then perhaps you're lucky after all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's your camera bag or it's contents that get the luck, perhaps, not you. And I'm sure no one is laughing at your camera bag.