Thursday, July 16, 2009
Beware, the hand of Goo
The Hand o Goo
You're sitting having a conversation with your friend unaware that a small hand smeared with strawberry jam with ketchup is slowly making it's way into your personal air space. Before you know it (and the air raid sirens go off), you've been globbed by a one and a half year old, your one and a half year old.
Luckily you're armed with wet naps. Before any more g0o can be transfered to your shirt you disarm the slime ridden invader by washing off the mutant hand. The sun sets as it normally would, the earth is safe and so is the rest of your outfit and your day returns to normal... for now.
Source of goo
This is just a tiny window in the life of Thomas and his daughter, Freya, and most likely every other parent out there. I can see parents that are readers out there laughing at me, the single guy, and the single person point of view. That's right keep those gooey little folk to yourselves. Just because they're called a miracle doesn't mean everyone wants to interact with them.
That's not to say that us single folk hate babies. Some of us, like me, just don't know how to handle them. The last thing we need is to find out we've broken them some how. Kind of like lending a piece of expensive camera gear only you can't replace it. You parents are really trusting with your babies aren't you? "Look what I've made!" They are not as interesting as you might think. Who cares if you squeezed a pineapple through the size of a dime?
I'm not saying they're going to be returned with broken arms or legs or anything should the baby be thrusted onto us single types, though it could happen. They might be forever emotionally traumatized or if you're not looking we might try brain washing them with Star Trek terminology.
How would you feel if the first words from baby's mouth were "Khaaaaaan!" instead of "mama" or "Papa". Even better,from my point of view, "Eject warp core!". I kind of like that one as a alternative to the baby telling you to change his/her diapers.
Thomas and Freya
Sure, babies take a lot of time out of your adult life. It's great that you do it. An extra star for you as a parent. Kudos. Way to go. Just keep the little drooler away from me and my camera gear at least until I buy a water proof shell.